Prof. Arindam Chaudhuri Speaks - "say No to Lip Service"

Why not outsource our Parliament itself?!portfolios. They have their venture funds and private
As my fifth consecutive and final editorial related toequity funds in benami (undisclosed); and these
the Mumbai terror attacks and to what we should bepolitico-criminals are investing even in education,
doing, this time I am going to write down fourhospitals and everything. And the sad truth is that
random thoughts that are coming to my mind... Ieverybody knows which politician has what kind of
hope by the end of the editorial, you can find somefund size and is investing where, and who owns
relation between all of them and some meaning outwhich company and how the markets are
of it.manipulated up and down. But no one dares to write
The first thought that drives me infuriatingly madall this because then the government will devastate
tonight, as I sit down to write this editorial, is that itthem the way they taught Tehelka a lesson. Nehru
will all happen again... and too soon, because we havehad once said that every black marketer should be
learnt no lessons. Just today, as I boarded the flighthanged from the nearest lamp-post. By his definition,
from Kolkata to Delhi, I walked into the airport withall the lamp-posts around Parliament House should
my large handbag, and was – to myhave been used to hang these very corrupt
astonishment – not subjected to any securitysoul-sellers and nation betrayers. Sounds too strong?
check of any kind. The sickeningly lax security guardsBut that’s how it is!
standing at the main entrance did not even checkThe third thought that comes to my mind as our
anyone’s identity card, leave alone checking ourpoliticians irresponsibly speak of war, is that though
bags using some metal detector, although a securitywe must avoid a war, the LETs, the Dawoods and all
screening gate is kept right outside the entrance. Assuch negative forces have to be necessarily wiped
I walked in, I felt like throwing shoes – the wayoff. And I don’t realise why our intelligence
the Iraqi journalist did recently – at one and all ofdoesn’t think of a special suicidal patriotic task
our politicians for being such shamelessly unrepentantforce, whose job will be to go to these terror
frauds. They just give crappy lip service even whenfunding countries unofficially and kill the dangerous
the entire nation is fuming and hurt. Even at key riskindividuals and come back the way, say, the Israeli
areas like airports, they haven’t yet put any kindMossad can do (whenever required, openly), or the
of real security. Three people like me could haveway CIA has been doing in a clandestine manner
walked into the Calcutta airport today without beingforever, by carrying out killings all over Latin America
checked, and then taken out guns and once moreand its bordering countries to put in favourable
held hostage the entire airport filled with thousandsgovernments from time to time. And to quote an
of passengers, and created mayhem! (And probably,alternate think for our pathetically characterless and
this might well be the reality soon at some airport orcharlatan politicians, this force can be made up of
mall). So let me tell you all. Nothing, simply nothing hasterminally ill patients who – despite knowing they
changed! These bloodsucking vampire bats who rulemight not have long to live – would love to make
this country will do nothing but speak garbage andtheir life be of huge service to this nation. I say this
hope that as per the law of probability, anotherradically because we have to avoid wars but we
attack would not happen soon. That is all...must destroy these negative forces as well. And for
The second thought that comes to my mind isthat, we must try out alternate sources before going
corruption. It feels sick to know that all the killedfor a war.
terrorists and the one caught alive (and probably theFinally, it’s unfortunate; but the truth in India is
fifteen odd who escaped) were carrying 400 dollarsthat if you need good roads, don’t give the
with them. It is such a common joke for terroristscontract to an Indian company... for an Indian
that they were indeed all carrying that sum since thatcompany will cheat and make roads that break off in
was the exact amount of money that our marineno time. If you need better airports, never give the
inspectors take as bribe to let people off in the seas.contract to an Indian company... for it will cheat and
So, to go back through the seas after the mayhem,swindle money. So the buzzword is, outsource the
the terrorists needed that money to bribe our coastjob to a foreign company. They will, in all probability
guards. What a shame to know that our borders are(after giving the initial kickback to secure the
so porous everywhere and our defence is so muchcontract) do the job honestly; and we will have
on sale. And let me tell you it’s not just thebetter roads and airports and every other public
coast guards, it’s everybody, just everybodyservice, as has been proven in the past. By the same
who is up for shameless sale. What a pity! They buylogic now, our Defence Ministry is thinking of
faulty guns, faulty rockets, faulty bulletproof jackets,‘outsourcing’ our coastguards to a foreign
faulty everything… and don’t think twicecountry / company to be sure they don’t take
before selling their souls and putting the entire nationbribes (what a huge, huge, huge shame that our
on sale. Until these criminals and spineless swinespoliticians have created such an environment of
– almost one and all politicians – rule thiscorruption in India that they can’t even trust
country, we will have just too many more Mumbais.their own people to guard the country honestly)... If
And all our people will do is form useless humanthis is indeed to be done, then why shouldn’t the
chains where a few actors will come deliberatelypeople of India also think of outsourcing our
looking like plain Janes and get a photo-op. Trust me,country’s Parliament seats – including the
it’s time for more... as I have been writingPrime Minister’s job – to foreigners... To
nonstop in my past edits! It’s time to grab theBarrack Obama and his team maybe! At least we
power away from these slimy soul peddlers; they arewould know that we are in safe end genuine hands,
not just corrupt, they are corrupt to an extent thatwhere no effort is farcical and no promise a mere,
is completely unimaginable. They aren’t swindlingpathetic and shameless lip service!
away simply a crore or so; they are swindling thisThis new year, take a simple pledge. Say no to lip
nation out of hundreds and thousands of crores, andservice. Hope that conveys it all. Happy New Year!
that too on an individual basis depending upon their