| Successful romantic relationships are the same as | | | | In a selfless, mission-focused relationship, this is less |
| successful business relationships. On a foundation of | | | | likely to occur because much of their happiness and |
| compatibility, trust, responsibility, and shared equity, | | | | fulfillment comes from the successful pursuit of their |
| partners merge talents and resources to do together | | | | shared passion. More, however, may actually come |
| what they cannot do individually. | | | | from the pride and satisfaction they feel, and the |
| Let's say I am passionate about the ocean, and my | | | | personal growth they have achieved, from living up |
| life mission is to build underwater habitats that I | | | | to the very high standards they set for themselves. |
| designed. My wife shares my passion for the ocean, | | | | Ironically, forming a selfless relationship requires very |
| has the same life mission, and has invented | | | | selfish due diligence. Measuring a potential romantic |
| technology perfect for those habitats. | | | | partner's character and integrity is not an adrenal |
| Attracted initially by chemistry and compatibility, we | | | | process. Cuteness and chemistry are not the sole |
| merged her technology with my designs to build our | | | | requirements. Careful, objective observation of the |
| habitats. A covenant we made with each other to | | | | person's behavior is essential to making intelligent |
| balance our personal needs with the needs of our | | | | choices. |
| mission, without succumbing to trivial desires or | | | | Whenever you meet someone attractive and willing, |
| emotional impulse, forms the foundation of our | | | | there is one question you need answered before |
| relationship. | | | | forming a relationship: |
| Commit To A Higher Purpose, Not Each Other | | | | "What's In It For Me?" |
| The character and integrity that forms the | | | | The answer to this question will reveal how they |
| foundation of successful business relationships is the | | | | perceive and value themselves and, more important, |
| same as that which forms the foundation of | | | | how they perceive and value you. The tone of their |
| successful romantic relationships. Because the | | | | delivery will reveal the demeanor that will permeate |
| "business" partners are also romantic partners, people | | | | every aspect of your relationship. |
| in mission-centered relationships should have an easier | | | | Stammering uncertainty leading eventually to an |
| time living and working together, and get more | | | | accounting of the person's physical and material |
| satisfaction from the experience. | | | | attributes delivered in haughty, "how dare you ask" |
| Conversely, when people commit only to each other, | | | | tone will tell you one thing. An effortless expression |
| each expects the other to be his or her sole source | | | | of how he or she can enhance your life and that of |
| of happiness and fulfillment. Worse, each person may | | | | others, delivered in a calm, "glad you asked" tone will |
| actually believe that he or she can be the other's sole | | | | tell you another. Take the answer at face value, and |
| source of happiness and fulfillment. The frustrating | | | | accept it for what it is. |
| awareness that those expectations are impossible to | | | | Approaching romance from a business perspective is |
| fulfill often manifests as withdrawal and neglect in | | | | both intelligent and practical. Clearly defined structure |
| one extreme, or nagging and accusation on another. | | | | and rules enhance romance. Lack thereof |
| Then, as each partner demands more attention be | | | | exacerbates it. |
| given to their needs, the roots of selfishness begin | | | | Just consider what happens when people divorce; it |
| to penetrate and crumble the foundation of their | | | | all gets boiled down to rights and property. |
| relationship, causing what they have built to collapse | | | | Business. |
| -- or preventing anything from being built at all. | | | | |